Daily Care for Loose Hair

My girls wear their hair loose quite often. We love how it looks and how easy it is to care for. We also love that it gives the hair a break from being pulled into a style. I've been asked to detail our daily routine for loose hair a few times now. I'm happy to share the ways we care for loose hair but please keep in mind that it may take some experimentation to find what works best for your child and her hair.

We have a nice degree of flexibility with loose styles on Little B's 4b, or tightly coiled, hair. She can wear a wash and go, she can wear an afro that is small, medium or large and that is rounded or chunky. Each beautiful style requires slightly different care.

Wash and Go: This style is achieved by washing (or cowashing), putting product in wet hair and leaving it to dry as it likes. With this style, I saturate Little B's hair with a hand held shower head every morning, doing a cowash and rinsing well two or three times during the week, and sticking to plain water the rest of the time. I drape a towel around her neck to catch drips and add a moisturizing styling cream to her soaking wet hair. Sometimes I make a short center part and add a barrette to each side of the part, sometimes I put a headband on her. Then we leave the hair to dry. If the product looks white in the hair, we don't worry about it, it will disappear as the hair dries. Little B's wash and go takes no longer than five or ten minutes.

Afro: No matter what kind of afro we are doing, this generally requires even less time than the wash and go. For every afro, I start by spritzing the hair with water, or water mixed with conditioner (depending on whether she needs extra moisture of not) and adding some hair milk. I look for any bits of fuzz that might be in her hair and use my fingers to get them out. Sometimes, I need to use a natural bristle brush to remove some fuzz. I don't really brush, I just skim the ends and use the bristles to catch any little fibers. Wearing a sleep cap, especially a Lycra (bathing suit material, not Latex or silicone!) swim cap, keeps her afro compacted and very round. Occasionally, a bit of hair escapes the cap and becomes stretched a bit. I wet that piece thoroughly to help it curl tightly again. These styles take only a couple of minutes every morning. I also freshen it up after quiet/nap time. After wetting and adding hair milk, this is how I achieve each style:

• For a small  rounded afro, I put styling cream in my palms and pat her hair down so the curls coil well and sit close the scalp. She's wearing this today and her teacher said, "Look who got a haircut!" Little B just shook her head and went back to her cutting and pasting while I explained.
  
• For a medium rounded afro, I place my fingers close to her scalp and lift the hair a little. I then put styling product in my palms and shape the ends gently.
• For a larger rounded afro, I add a generous amount of hair milk and then use my fingers to lift the hair away from the scalp. Once I have the volume I want, I use styling cream rubbed in my palms to shape it and encourage any hairs that have become elongated to curl with the rest. For a child Little B's age, I think this is a good one day or special occasion style. Too much handling isn't all that good for curly hair. At five years old, there is still a lot of playing on the floor and I don't want her to be too conscious of crushing her afro. If we do this style one day, we just switch to a smaller afro the next day.
  
• For a chunky afro, I add extra hair milk and use my fingers to lift the hair just enough so it's not compressed. I put some styling cream on my fingers and work it through the hair, letting the hair go where it wants to. The afro height will still be pretty uniform but it will not have that every-hair-in-place look of rounded afro.

I don't make any attempt to detangle Little B's hair until I next wash it. Detangling after a week of wearing a loose style takes about half an hour. It would probably take less on conditioner-soaked hair, but Little B just doesn't like that. You can read about detangling after a loose style here.

Little R's loose hair is very different from Little B's. Little R has 3b/3c hair, it's a looser curl that grows down rather than out. For Little R, loose hair is the style, we don't have to make any style choice beyond that. She usually wears her loose hair with a headband, with a small part and barrettes, or held back on either side with barrettes. In the morning, we wet Little R's hair with water from a spray bottle. Sometimes it's mixed with a little conditioner, sometimes plain, depending on how much moisture he hair needs. After spraying it thoroughly, I add hair milk and use my detangling comb to make sure all tangles are out. I sometimes follow that up with my Goody Ouchless brush or Kakakiki Brush to help the curls bounce back. I then add a generous amount of styling cream the back of head because that is likely to get fuzzy through the day. If her hair is looking very messy before bed, I do a lighter version of the morning routine and put her hair in one or two chunky braids so detangling is a snap in the morning. Little R always wears a sleep cap to bed to keep her loose hair from becoming tangled while she sleeps.

So there you have it! This is our daily care for loose hair.

Edit to add: I know there is a lot of information out there on avoiding wetting the hair too often and I want to address that. Water is moisture and can be quite good for the hair. It is one of the key components of healthy hair for my girls. However, the hair can become damaged from being soaked repeatedly because it swells then releases the water. That is called hygral fatigue. I've never noticed any sign of damage from too much water in my girls' hair even when I do a wash and go, but our house is very dry. So much depends on environmental factors, so experiment and use your judgment.

If too much water is a concern, but the hair needs to be damp to be styled, adding coconut oil before the hair gets really wet limits the amount of water that is absorbed. Sometimes a hair milk has enough water to make spritzing with plain water unnecessary.

Two Thick Braids and A Rounded Afro

We are anticipating a busy, busy week so I decided to keep hair styling as simple as possible today. I did want to make sure the girls' hair was very well conditioned because I've taken a few shortcuts on wash days in the last few weeks. Before washing, I removed Little B's big flat twists with my fingers, then worked coconut oil through Little B's and Little R's dry hair. I sent them off to play for about twenty minutes so the coconut oil could absorb into their hair a bit.

I washed Little R's hair as usual, then added conditioner. I detangled her with conditioner soaked hair. I used both a detangling comb and my Goody brush. Detangling only took a minute or two. I rinsed the conditioner out and ran the comb through again just to make sure I didn't tangle it while rinsing. I patted the very ends of her hair with a towel just to soak up the drips. I am amazed at the length she has now. It feels like her hair has grown tremendously just recently. I worked some hair milk into Little R's hair and then a little jojoba oil to help seal the moisture. I let that dry a little while I washed Little B's hair.

When I went back to Little R, I needed to spritz the front of her hair with plain water because those front curls had dried. I parted her hair down the middle using a pin tail comb and clipped the sections. Parting Little R's hair can be a challenge. She has a very wiggly scalp, so I may think I have a straight part, but when I gather the section the part moves depending on how tightly the hair is pulled. She also has fine hair, and tons of it, so a part that is just a few hairs off can look wacky. That isn't true of Little B at all. The skin on her scalp has far less movement and she has more space between hair follicles, so parting is much easier. Today, it took me about 20 minutes to get that one part almost straight. It still isn't quite right but sometimes I find that if I wait a day to fix it, I can do it more easily than if I kept working at it in the initial hair styling session. When the style requires only one part, I really like it to look straight,as possible.

I added a generous amount of styling cream and used a natural bristle brush to gather each section into pigtails. I combed each pigtail until it was smooth and braided it. The braids should take no more than a few minutes to freshen up through the week.

We decided Little B should go for loose hair this week. I washed and conditioned her. With her hair soaked with conditioner, I detangled her using my curved detangling comb. She doesn't like to be detangled with conditioner in but I wanted to let her curls shrink a quite a bit and if I detangled her after rinsing, the curls would be elongated. In the ten minutes it took to detangle her I heard, "This is BORING!" a few times.

Once Little B was detangled and rinsed, I added hair milk for extra conditioning and jojoba oil to seal in the moisture. I patted her hair into a round shape and patted the curls down a little. I put two stretchy soft headbands in her hair to help  flatten her hair along the hairline. I think that will help an Alice band stay in place later in the week. Once Little B wears a sleep cap, her curls will be compressed and she'll have a smallish afro. This week, we'll just use a little hair milk or Blended Cutie Jelly Cream daily and change her headband to match her outfit.

Washing, conditioning, and detangling time: less than 10 minutes for Little R & 15 for Little B
Styling time: 25 minutes for Little R (that center part!) & 2 minutes for Little B
This week's entertainment: Sesame Street Ready for School

Happy to Be Nappy DVD Review

Happy to Be Nappy (Jump at the Sun) is a wonderful picture book written by bell hooks and illustrated by Chris Raschka. It's a lyrical, joyful celebration of "girlpie hair." While the book is only available used (snap it up if you ever see it), there is a Happy to Be Nappy video. Happy to Be Nappy and Other Stories of Me starts off with two little girls discussing hair. They tell us that the rest of the kids in their class have straight hair but they wouldn't want to be anyone but who they are. Next is the reading of Happy to Be Nappy with Chris Raschka's charming, lively, and colorful illustrations beautifully animated. With words like, "Hair to comb, hair to brush, to twist and plait or just lie flat. Hair for hands to touch and play! Hair to take the gloom away." who could help but love this book?

The rest of the video focuses in stories of real children who are, or feel, different from other kids. It includes the story of a boy who sticks with the dancing he loves despite being the only male in his classes, and the story of blind boy who attends public school and enjoys reading books in braille when he should be sleeping. These features are rounded out with picture book readings, poems and more children discussing the ways in which they feel different. Below is a video clip of some very adorable kids talking about being teased.



Both Little B and Little R really enjoyed this video and I think they'll enjoy it even more as get older. I loved it for it's positive messages and entertaining content and give it five star beads.

Mid-week Style Update

I'm a little late with the style update this week because until last night, I just couldn't decide what to do. Little R's cornrows looked pretty good until she had been to two swim classes, preschool, and had played a whole lot. The same is true of Little B's Bantu knots. The girls love to cover their heads with blanks while they play,which seems like great fun but doesn't do nice things for their hairstyles. By last night, we had super fuzzy braids and cockeyed Bantu knots.

Last evening, I put both girls in the tub and wet their hair. I took Little B's knots out but left the cloth band at the base of each section. I uncoiled the twist and fanned the hair out a bit. I put a generous amount of conditioner in and covered her head with a shower cap. I took the rubber bands off the ends of Little R's braids and added conditioner to the braids. I used my favorite pin tail comb to remove the braids, added a bit more conditioner and covered her head with a shower cap too. After letting the conditioner sit for a few minutes, I rinsed all of the conditioner out.

Once they were in jammies, I took the sections of Little B's hair made flat twists, ending in a puff in the middle of her head. I was careful to add a quite a bit of styling cream to each section and brush it in with a natural bristle brush before twisting, especially around her hairline. Little R's hair had a great curl pattern after being in breads for days, so I just loosely gathered her hair into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. I brushed it with my Goody Ouchless to make sure it was detangled. I wasn't going for a smooth look so I didn't use a natural bristle brush on her. I left a few curls out along her hairline for some cute little bangs.

 I don't usually change course like this mid-week, but some times a style just doesn't last. By the way, I found those cute little flower cloth elastics and the iridescent ballies at Target.

Establishing Happier Hair Time

I'm often asked how I get the girls to sit still to have their hair done. We have our cranky days, but for the most part, Little B and Little R can be counted on to sit patiently while I detangle and style. I think that's mostly due to distraction and training. We have been having hair styling sessions since Little R's hair grew long enough to style. In those early days, I would put her on the floor with a few toys and sit on a stool behind her. At that time, Little B's hair wasn't long enough to style so to keep her content, I'd wear her on my back while I did Little R's hair. That wasn't easy, but we got through and Little B was excited once her hair was long enough to style.

I know that getting through hair day without tears and frustration is a big issue most of us face at one time or another. It's especially hard with really little ones. It takes time and effort to get kids trained to sit for hair styling. Little B and little R were toddlers when they came home, so I never had to try to do hair on a child under two. Thankfully, I have friends (Hi J, C, K, J, & M! Thanks!) who have and they have shared their wisdom with me so I can share with you.

I can't say this enough, babies and toddlers with short hair don't need elaborate styling. Truly. A regular wash with a mild cleanser and gentle brushing with a baby brush in the direction of hair growth is enough. If there are dry patches, just put a little olive oil on them. If you want to get fancy, a soft headband is perfect. I know it's tempting to tackle styling and dive into the world of curly hair products but short hair just doesn't need it. These photos show just how short Little R's and Little B's hair was when we met them in Ethiopia. It was about three months before I could decorate Little B's hair with a few snaps. It was eight months before I could gather it into six puffs, a year and a half before I could cornrow it and it hasn't grown long enough for a single puff yet.

Once the hair is longer and can no longer be easily brushed with a baby brush, you can ease into a styling routine by starting with a simple puff or two. At this stage, I think that keeping the child entertained and making it a positive experience is more important than a perfect style. There are so many ways to keep a little one entertained while doing hair. We use TV and snacks because TV is a treat for Little B and Little R. We are also careful to take as many breaks as we need. For those too young for TV here are some alternatives:

• Style while she's in her highchair. Use food, toys, Play Doh, stickers, or coloring to keep her entertained. Singing songs helps too.
  
• Style while she's in the tub. Tub toys and water are a fabulous distraction.
• Give her a hair tool to hold. It could be a brush, or a closed bottle of product, or a comb, but whatever it is make her believe that holding it for you is a huge responsibility and help. Tell her what an amazing job she's doing.
• Give her a hand mirror to hold or style in front of a large mirror so she can watch herself. As you style, tell her what you are doing. If you can do it safely, you might want to sit her on the bathroom counter facing the mirror and style her hair there.
  
• Put safe non-toy items like foil, yarn, tissue paper, a calculator, an old set of keys, a spoon, small plastic containers, an empty toilet paper roll, a small flashlight or similar things into a paper bag. Give her a couple, then swap them for something else every few minutes. Change a few every week or two. (This last one comes from a forum contributor at Nappturality and I think it's a fabulous idea.)
  

Expect first styling sessions to last only about five minutes or so, then build up. Having the right tools for the job close by is an essential part of happy styling sessions. Nothing fancy is required, but it is a good idea to have a spray bottle, any product you plan to use, a detangling comb or brush (or both), a rat tail or pin tail comb for parting, a natural bristle brush if you plan to gather the hair into puffs, and either hair rubber bands or cloth elastics to hold the style. It's important to note that some experimentation with tools might be necessary. Your daughter might hate a regular wide-toothed comb but be fine with a detangling comb, or vice versa.

If you have a child who has no interest in having her hair done, you may want to style while she's sleeping. Many, many families do this with great success. Another alternative is to use one of the suggestions above to get the hair detangled and leave it at that. Choosing the same time and place to style and each week can help minimize battles and complaints because everyone will have the same expectations. Some parents opt to keep their daughter's hair short until she's ready to sit for styling. A teeny weeny afro is an adorable style. If that is what it takes to avoid battles, so be it. There will probably be a point when your daughter is ready to try styling again.

Establishing a happy hair time can be a wonderful bonding experience. If a happy hair time just isn't happening for your little one right now, don't sweat it. If the price of styled hair is an epic battle, just go with clean, healthy hair- no matter what the cultural pressure.

Straight Cornrows and Pie Wedge Bantu Knots

This week we decided on Bantu knots for Little B and cornrows for Little R. Little B has never worn Bantu knots before and she's been asking for them. Little R likes braids but I find cornrow more challenging with her hair texture. There is no way to improve unless I practice, so practice I did.

I know cornrows would take some time this morning so I decided to wash and condition the girls' hair last night. I believe I made this mistake a few weeks ago and forgot about it. It works for Little R's hair, but Little B's hair dries right out. It might be okay if I did a pre wash treatment and lavished it with moisturizing product after, but that defeats the whole purpose of a quick wash the night before.

Blended Cutie Product Review

Back when Little B and Little R's hair first starting growing in, I searched for products that would leave their hair soft, moisturized and would help me with styling. After many tries with products that were not quite right for us, I found Blended Beauty's Blended Cutie line for kids. I vividly remember the first time I used their products in Little B's hair. It was only an inch or two long and I put a headband on her and took her for a walk in the stroller. I remember looking down at her hair glistening and shining in the sun and thinking, "Wow, that's beautiful!"

We used Blended Cutie product exclusively for a long time but as the girls' hair became fuller and longer our needs changed, buying this line also got quite expensive after a while. We still use and love a couple of Blended Beauty products, but we've moved on from others. These are the Blended Cutie products we've tried:

Silky Swirls Shampoo: This is a gentle, sulfate-free, conditioning cleanser with a mild scent. The product information states that it is gentle enough for everyday use for swimmers. We liked the way it cleansed the scalp and hair without stripping the natural oils. It had enough lather for the girls to make shampoo horns (isn't that how you judge shampoos?) and rinsed clean. It is a very good shampoo. $18.50 a bottle good? Not in my opinion.


Tug Me Not Conditioner: This conditioner is a silicone-free and meant to be rinsed out. The ingredient list includes "natural conditioners" and I can't help wondering what exactly those are. Tug Me Not worked well for us when the girls' hair was quite short but when it got past five inches or so, it just wasn't enough. Tug Me Not is also $18.50.


Satin Style Reviver: This used to be called Satin Style Detangler. It's the same product with a new name. It's ingredients include aloe and chamomile water, glycerin and rice bran oil. It's meant to be used as a detangler or to soothe the scalp and moisturize curls. I have to admit this product did nothing for either Little B or Little R. It didn't work for us a detangler, as a moisturizer or to soothe the scalp. It does have some nice ingredients that might work for someone else, but we did better with plain water. It is priced at $16.00.


Curly Cake Shake: This is a hydrating leave-in used to revive curls. It can also be used to detangle. We have used quite a few leave-in products and this is a favorite that we always come back to. It's a hair lotion (hair milk) that can be used daily and layered with styling products. Rice bran oil is the fourth ingredient and it does help provide shine. The smell is mild and sweet. The only thing I don't like about Curly Cake Shake is that it comes in a spray bottle. Inevitably, I can't get the last eighth of the bottle out with the spray. Next time I buy this, I'll be putting it in another bottle or replacing the spray with a flip cap if I can find one that will fit. At $19.00 a bottle, it's too expensive not to be able to use every last drop.


Down and Out: This is a moisturizing styling cream for defining curls and reducing frizz. As the name implies, it's meant for loose hair styles. We had limited success with this. It was better for Little R's looser curl than Little B's tighter coils. It did help define the curls at first but by the end of the day the definition would be gone. I think I ended up using this on my own wavy hair and using another Blended Beauty styling product for the girls. Down and Out is $19.00


Jelly Cream: This is the styling product I used for the girls in the days when loose hair with headbands and two puffs were our main styles. Shea Butter is the second ingredient listed, making this a rich, moisturizing styling lotion. It helps define curls and leaves the hair very soft. This is my absolute favorite styling aid for loose hair. It has twice the hold of Down and Out and keeps curls looking great all day. I love to use this when Little B is wearing a rounded afro. I pick her hair out and then put this on my hands before I pat her afro into shape. It curls all of this little hairs that get pulled a little too far out and keeps the afro in shape. It works well for a chunky afro too. It does come in a bottle with a pump and like the Curly Cake Shake, it can be hard to get the last eighth or so out of the bottle using the pump. It is $19.00 a bottle.


There are many quite a few other products in the Blended Cutie line. They offer $24.00 sample packs that include small sizes of six products and are ordered based on hair type, ensuring the customer gets appropriate products.

Not every product works for everyone. Some of the Blended Beauty products we tried just didn't work for us, but that doesn't mean they won't work for your cutie. Overall, they are good products, packed with natural ingredients and free of sulfates, silicones, and parabens. If you are searching for products for your curly girl, and the cost is not prohibitive, I'd encourage you to give Blended Cutie a try. Ten cents from the purchase of every Blended Beauty item goes to support the Christian Children's Fund of Canada. Now through September 25th, get 15% off Blended Beauty products. Use the coupon code Cseptcurls at check out at BlendedBeauty.com

Tried Blended Beauty? Agree with my assessments? Disagree? Please add your thoughts about Blended Beauty to the comments.

Mid-week Style Update

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Both girls have loose hair this week so and are really enjoying it. Little R has four flat twists in front to help keep the hair off her face and as the week wears on, they are less apparent. The curls just cover them right up. I've been putting the loose part of her hair in two quick braids every night just to keep the hair from tangling. I'm not even bothering to part it with a tool; I'm just loosely dividing it into two sections. It is working well.

See, nothing fancy

In the morning, I just undo the braids, spritz her hair, add a little hair milk and use the Kakakiki brush to define the curls and get any little tangles out. In the photo below, I've done this to the right side of her head but haven't touched the left yet. In person, the difference was even more pronounced. Because both girls have loose hair this week, I added a dollop of conditioner to my usual water spray bottle for a little extra conditioning. I also put some heavier styling cream on my hands and scrunched the hair at the back of her head. There is one section that likes to get pretty frizzy and the styling cream and scrunching seem to help. Today, she wanted to wear one the new alice bands I bought, so I just slipped it between the front and back flat twists.

Little B's hair collects little pieces of fuzz pretty easily. When her hair is loose, I spritz it a bit with my water and conditioner mix and then take a natural bristle brush and lightly remove the fuzz. What I do really can't be called brushing. I just touch the bristle to the hair and let them pick up some of the fuzz or fibers (we have a rug that sheds worse than the cat). When I've removed most of it, I try to get the remaining bits with my fingers. I add hair milk to her hair and finger comb lightly. I just want to fluff it up a bit. Today I took a little styling cream and worked it in along her hairline, pushing the hair back gently so her headband would sit easily on her head. I added a tourquise alice band and her chunky afro was done.

Little B would like you to know that plastic bowls make excellent hats.

Can I Touch Your Hair?

How many times has someone you don't know just reached out and touched your hair? How many times has this happened to your children? Has anyone asked first, or do strangers just reach over and help themselves to a handful of hair? How about people you know slightly, do they ever try to pet your head?

In this great post, blogger Los Angelista tells the story of a stranger asking to touch her hair and the stranger's anger when Los Angelista declined. I cannot tell you how often this happens to my girls. Most of the time people don't ask first, they just reach out and touch their hair. I vividly remember being at an adoption event where a dad was watching his Ethiopian-born twins play with mine. As Little B and Little R ran by, he turned to me and said, "I can't wait to touch their hair!" My eyes went wide, my mouth dropped open. He read my dismay and responded with, "I can't touch their hair?" Um, no. Sheesh.

A lot of the time, other children want to touch the girls' hair. That is probably simple curiosity but we work hard to keep their hair healthy and looking great and I don't want some other child's hands running through it. It's just unhygienic. I know the dirt, glue, marker, food and other stuff that can be on my kids' hands at any given moment, I don't want another kid's yuck in their hair.

When adults want to touch their hair, it's more complex and racially charged. Even if the motive is curiosity, an adult should know better than to touch someone else's child no matter how curious they are. It is not okay when an adult stranger does not respect a child's personal space or touches their body without permission, unless they are rescuing them from a dangerous situation. My child should not be used to satisfy curiosity. We could talk about the racial implications of this kind of action all day long.

I've taught the girls to duck out of the way and to say, "Don't touch my hair please!" whenever a stranger or another child reaches towards their head. It works well with other kids, but it's hard for them to say that to an authority figure. I think we will be recruiting some mom friends to role-play and practice this with. It would probably be a good idea to teach them to put their hand up in the stop position to add emphasis and power to their no.

When I am with the girls, it's my job to shelter them from this but sometimes I fail. Just the other day, we were waiting in line to use the bathroom at a restaurant. The girls and I were waiting with one middle-aged white woman. We were squashed into about four square feet and after a moment of pleasant chit-chat she casually reached out and caressed Little B's braids. I didn't say anything. I was afraid to make a scene, to anger this woman, to be seen as an over-protective, aggressive, crazy mom. This small incident has been bothering me since in happened. I should have turned to her and politely said the mom version of what I teach the girls to say, "Please don't touch their hair." If I'm afraid to protect them in such a basic way, how can they be expected to learn to protect themselves?

Hot Oil Treatments

If your child' hair is in need of a little moisture boost, or if you are looking for a pre-wash treatment, consider hot oil treatments. They are a simple and inexpensive way to get a little extra moisture into the hair. You probably don't have to buy a thing either. Take about a quarter of a cup of olive oil, warm it gently (don't get it hot) and work it into your child's dry hair. I usually rig up a little double boiler to warm it, but you can also put the bottle in hot water. Cover the hair with a shower cap, and a dryer-warmed towel over the cap if you wish, and leave it for about half an hour. Work some shampoo into the hair, then add water and wash and condition normally. This is probably best done in the kitchen sink or with a hand held shower, not in a tub full of water and tub toys. Sitting in the rinse water would be kind of yucky and really, who wants to scrub tub toys?

I like to do these about once a month and as I've mentioned here before, the beauty of olive oil, coconut oil, and avocado oil is that they penetrate the cortex of the hair. That helps condition, moisturize and strengthen hair. If you have coconut oil on hand, you can mix it with the olive oil for the oil treatment, but plain olive oil will do. Some people prefer to use a light olive oil to avoid a strong olive oil smell. I just use the dark, cold pressed olive oil I cook with. After washing and conditioning, I've never noticed a olive oil smell, but I have noticed extra soft, beautifully conditioned hair!

Curls, Curls, Curls

Today I planned to give Little B a braid out held with an Alice band and I planned flat twists for Little R ending in two low pigtails at the nape of her neck. Sometimes, the plans don't always work out. I washed and conditioned Little B's hair with Aubrey Organics products while it was still in braids. I had never done that before but it worked out very well and it sure was quick. After washing, I sat her down with snacks, water and a movie* and removed her beads. I had finished the beads with hair wrapped around a pony bead and secured with a rubber band, so I cut the bands out to remove the beads and then cut the rubber band holding the actual braid. I worked in rows from back to front. Using a pin tail comb, it took about half an hour to remove the braids.

With the braids out, I just added some moisturizing styling cream all over and scrunched her hair a bit. Most curly-haired people get driest and most tangled at the nape of the neck, so I added hair milk there for extra moisture. I used a tiny bit of pomade to smooth back the hair along her hairline and brought a bit of hair towards her forehead. I added a cheerful, yellow fabric Alice band, then took the hair on her forehead, divided it in three and made three little coils by twisting the hair and then letting it go.

We took a break before moving on the Little R's hair. When we were ready to start again, I took one look at her curls and changed my plans for flat twists. Those curls were amazing. I credit the shampoo and conditioner with the way her hair looks. The curls were bouncy and springy and defined with no product in at all. Wow. I decided that those curls shouldn't be tucked away. Instead of a head of flat twists, I would just do four flat twists from the middle of her head down and back a bit to keep the hair out of her face.

Flat twists are an easy and quick alternative to cornrows. To make a flat twist, the hair needs to be detangled and sectioned in rows. At the beginning of each row, pick up a small section and divide it in two. The two stands should be crossed over each other a few times to form a twist. The two stands of the twist should then be held out to the sides. Another small section of hair should be taken from the row and added to the stand that will be crossed next. Repeat that with each strand until there is no more loose hair in the row. Using a pin tail comb, I made two small rows on each side of Little R's head from the center part to the ear. I wet each section, combed and added a little pomade before twisting.

I ended Little R's flat twists as soon as I ran out of hair to add by banding them with cloth bands. Normally, I would finish the flat twist with a regular two strand twist down the remaining length of her hair, but today I wanted loose curls at the end. I added a flower barrette where the twists ended on each side of her head. The parting and clipping of her hair flattened some of her curls, so I dissolved a little conditioner in warm water and sprayed her hair. I put a little jojoba oil in to seal it and let it finish air drying. Although the hair plan for today was modified, we are pretty happy with the results.

A note on styling tools: I have found my metal pin tail comb to be the single most useful tool I have for styling. They are really inexpensive and although they look kind of scary, they are excellent for removing braids and twists and for making great parts. At first I was worried I might hurt the girls with it, pointy metal is generally something I try to keep the girls away from, but I've never come close to any kind of unfortunate incident. Any beauty supply store should have a few to chose from. Mine came in this set. I paid almost $5 for it. I have a bunch of rat tail combs, but for me nothing beats a metal pin tail.


*We started watching The Muppet Movie last night and the girls loved Miss Piggy. Shortly after restarting it today there was a "fight" scene with Miss Piggy doing her version on martial arts. Both girls burst into tears. Nice one Mom. We quickly switched over to Sesame Street.

Beautifully Natural

Happy Hair on a Budget

A reader recently asked me for a leave-in recommendation for those on a budget. The question got me thinking about just how much I spend, and am tempted to spend, on hair products for Little B and Little R. I spend next to nothing on beauty supplies and cosmetics for myself. I'm willing to spend much more on the girls, but does anybody really need a $20 bottle of shampoo?

At first the girls' hair was a big mystery that I thought I could solve by throwing some money at it. That was hard on the budget. So I went in the other direction and tried a line of really inexpensive curly hair products full of ingredients that weren't so nice. That was hard on the hair. That's when I began searching for a happy medium. I've found that good products with excellent ingredients don't have to cost a ton and that we don't need every product under the sun either. I did a little thinking on the subject recently and imagined what I would want if I had to pare down to the essentials to save money. I would not want to spend any more than $12 for 8 ounces of product. That sounds like a lot, but read on.

In order to simplify and save money, I would resist the temptation to buy a bunch of lower quality products in favor of just one good conditioner. A good conditioner can be used for washing, as a deep conditioning treatment, as a detangler, and as a leave-in too. To use it as a leave-in, choose a protein-free conditioner, and put a straight dab in every day or every few days, or  mix a little with distilled water in a spray bottle. When using rinse-out conditioner as a leave-in, be sure to concentrate on the ends of the hair and thoroughly rinse the hair on wash day to prevent build-up.

My favorite conditioner is between $8 and $11 a bottle and it lasts for about two months when used on both girls once a week. If I were using it to wash and as a leave-in I would expect it to last about half that time. While $10 for a bottle of conditioner is certainly a lot compared to $3 drug store brands, the results justify the cost. If I used it for everything, that $10 bottle would work out to $1.25 per girl per week. There are a lot of great conditioners at this price point too.

I would continue to supplement the conditioner with ingredients from my pantry. A little bit of olive oil and/or coconut oil can be for a pre-wash treatment and to temporarily seal in moisture after a wash. A little Apple Cider Vinegar mixed with warm water can be used as a rinse that is both anti-bacterial and anti-fungal.

If room opened up in the budget, I think I would add in a styling product to help hold braids and twists. I would be willing to spend a bit more on that. I use so little that most jars last for a long, long time. It's harder to find a natural pomade or styling aid at a drug or grocery store so this is one I would order online. Many boutique brand pomades, styling butters and creams are around $12 for 8 ounces. A little goes a long way with these types of products. Let's do some math on this one. If the styling aid is used once a week and lasts four months, that's $.75 per hairstyle.

With even more room in the budget, I'd add a leave-in to the product line-up. While a regular conditioner can be used as a leave-in successfully, they are meant to be rinsed out and can be a little heavier than what is required, or build up if not used carefully.

If I had more to spend, I would probably add a shampoo to the product line up. We typically have a shampoo, conditioner, leave-in, coconut oil, and a styling cream or pomade on hand. While I'm grateful to have products for most aspects of hair care, I know that if I chose wisely, I could still get very good results with far less.

I 'd love to hear from other happy hair folks, what is the one product you could not do without? What is your favorite inexpensive natural product? How long do you find your more expensive products last and do the results justify the cost?

Mid-week Style Update

I can't believe it's already time for another mid-week update. The girls' hair styles don't look four days old yet! Little B's box braids are getting a little puffy and fuzzy at the base, but I expected that since I chose not to band them so her hairline could have a rest. But the braids themselves look pretty good and I think it's due to the kakakiki brush. Her hair is smoother than it generally is, making the braids less fuzzy. They are usually quite bent out of shape by sleep too and I've noticed that they are much straighter than usual. I think I can attribute that to her Nadia's sleep cap. A couple of braids did go a little wonky last night. To straighten them out, I put them in my palm and spray them with water. I then attach alligator clips to them and leave then in for about 15 minutes. That is usually enough to get them back into shape.

Little R started the week wearing two puffs with small braids. This morning her hair needed to be brushed to gather the hairs that came out of the puffs and the remove the lint that collected at the elastic band. I took the bands off and spritzed her hair with water. I added a dab of hair milk and gathered her hair into puffs again. I banded them with cloth elastic to match her shirt (naturally) and considered the remaining braids.

I think I could have left them in another day, but they were starting to come out and I really wanted to see what a puff braid out would look like. I removed all of the braids with a pintail comb and spritzed the hair with water. I put a little moisturizing styling cream on the ends and I have to say that it looks much better than I expected. Usually, a braid out style doesn't work on Little R. It's usually just crinkle-shaped frizz. Not today. I don't know if it was due to the kakakiki brush or the new shampoo or a combination of the two but it sure is smooth.

Hairline Stress and Dry Scalp

Jill has two questions about her daughter's hair and scalp. I think they are really universal issues that deserve some attention.

My biggest problem (actually I have 2) is how to keep the scalp moist without clogging the pores and getting those black greasy clumps. I do fine with the hair, just can't find the right balance with the scalp. My other problem is that I part my daughter's hair in the middle so much that it looks like her hairline is receding in the middle. I've tried to change it up and be creative with rows going across side-to-side and dividing into 3rds instead of halfs or quarters...but it still looks thin in the front middle. Am I pulling too tight or using the wrong bands...we use band elastic bands specifically made for AA hair. Just curious your thoughts. I noticed you divide down the center a lot but your girls don't seem to have the fuzzy "halo" around their foreheads like my daughter.

Let's talk hairline first. Little B does get the halo of baby hair/fuzzy hair on her forehead if I keep it pulled back too long. The photo on the left is a good example. It happened pretty intensely with a veil style. I watch that hairline carefully and if I see it's getting stressed, I go for a loose style. I try to do a loose style at least one week of the month, sometimes she needs it every other week. I try to limit my use of actual rubber bands, even ouchless or dental bands. Instead I use cloth elastics as much as possible. I also try to give her hairline a break by not always banding braids or twists at the base. Little R's hairline is more forgiving. I rarely notice signs of stress, but when I do I plan a loose style to give it a chance to recover. I think there is a lot of pressure to keep the hair in a style, but it's important to consider what is healthy. Dryness from wearing hair loose hair is much easier to correct than hair loss or breakage from the hair being pulled too tightly for too long.

Now let's talk about the scalp. Finding the right moisture balance for the scalp can be tricky. The scalp produces oil and while that oil usually doesn't manage to get to the ends of curly hair, for the most part it should keep the scalp in good condition. Of course, some people produce less than they need and some more. The only time I add oil to the scalp is if I notice a dry patch. Little B gets very dry just over her ears, so I often add a little jojoba or olive oil there. When the hair is pulled back and the scalp is exposed it can need a little help with moisture. If the scalp needs a little moisture and oil is just too much, aloe vera might be the answer. It does have antibacterial, and antifungal properties and has been used for ages to soothe and moisturize the skin. It is important to get pure aloe vera gel or pure aloe vera juice.

Products, oil, and dirt build-up on the scalp can be uncomfortable and itchy. If regular shampooing isn't enough to remove it, a simple and effective way to help exfoliate the scalp is to mix about a tablespoon of brown sugar with a few tablespoons of conditioner. Gently rub it into the scalp while the hair and scalp are dry and rinse thoroughly. The hair can then be conditioned normally. I do this for my own hair about once a month. Regular apple cider vinegar rinses, either between shampoo and conditioner or after conditioner, are a great way to help keep the scalp free of build-up. Mix about a tablespoon or apple cider vinegar with one cup of warm water and pour over the hair, rubbing it into the scalp a bit. Don't rinse it out, the vinegar smell will disappear when the hair is dry.

Scalp acne, or scalp folliculitis, is characterized by small, very itchy pustules on the scalp, often along the hairline. That should be treated by a dermatologist.

9/11 P.S. Yikes! How could I have forgotten to mention ringworm when writing about the scalp? I know many of my readers are other adoptive parents who have dealt with tinea, are dealing with now, or will be soon. Ringworm is also very common among children in the US. Here is a link to more information on scalp ringworm.

Mysteries of the Kakakiki Revealed!

Our fabulous friend J recently gave me a Kakakiki KombBrush. It's a detangling brush specifically for curly hair made with hard plastic and rigid tines that look like crochet hooks. I've known about it for a long time but have hesitated to try it because of the mixed reviews I read, because it looks scary and frankly because of the wacky Kakakiki web site.

For years, hair forum discussions of the brush have resulted in three distinct opinions. There are those who won't go near it because it looks like an instrument of torture. There are those who have tried it and absolutely hate it, saying it ripped the hair out of their heads. There are a few reviewers who love it and sing it's praises. I have three friends who now have one and they all love it. C tried it and called it "life-changing." I saw the evidence of it's detangling ability on her beautiful daughter. Our friends K and J love it too. I trust and value the opinions of my friends, so when J gave me a brush I was ready to try it.

So we tried it and the girls hated it, a lot. There was an awful lot of hair on the brush and they said it hurt. It did separate the curls beautifully. I went to the Kakakiki site to get some tips on using the brush and to watch the demo video. Imagine my dismay when I saw it demonstrated on a child and a woman with STICK STRAIGHT HAIR . They also used it on a man's very short beard. I almost gave up on it then and there. If the company that makes it can't even demonstrate their curly hair brush on curly hair why should I bother trying to make it work?

My friends' were using it successfully though. These ladies do a great job with their girls' hair, and I know they do hair gently. I went back to the forums and looked for some correlation between success with the Kakakiki and hair type, hair length or product choice but didn't come up with anything. I did find a very old thread in which one person mentioned that the brush only goes one way, so you have to turn it around to do one side of the head. I thought that might be the key, at least for longer, thicker hair.

When I sat down to detangle on our last hair day, I put hair milk in Little B's hair and experimented with which way is the right way. As it turns out, the hair must be brushed with the hook part of the tine facing away from the scalp. In other words, the hook-shaped part should be facing facing down and/or out. Despite what they say on the Kakakiki web site, this needs to be approached like all other detangling. It needs to be used on wet hair and brushed starting at the ends and working closer to the scalp on each pass. If it reaches a snag, it should be taken out and gently worked through again until the tangle resolves.

I was amazed at the results. It didn't hurt. It pulled a reasonable amount of shed hair out and it took less time than using a detangling comb and brush. I am impressed. Not only is detangling accomplished easily, but the curls are really defined after using this brush. The Kakakiki KombBrush sells for $14.99, including shipping on the KakaKiki web site. It sells for $9.99 plus shipping at Treasured Locks and at Shuruba for $11.00CDN plus shipping.

I'm giving the Kakakiki KombBrush If the company that makes it had actually provided useful information on how to use this properly, I would have given it five stars.

Braids!

It's hair day again and today it was all about braids. Little B's hairline has been looking a little stressed in the past week so I gave her the choice of coils or box braids with beads and she chose braids. It's been a while since either girl has worn beads all over and I think we all miss the click-clack sound. Little R chose two puffs today, but instead of an actual puff, we decided to put the gathered hair in a bunch of small braids.

I started this morning by washing their hair with Aubrey Organics Island Natural Shampoo. I bought a new shampoo after reading about shampoo bars and increased porosity. Aubrey Organics Island Natural Shampoo is a low lather shampoo and the texture was a little unexpected but it sure did a good job. It rinsed really clean and didn't strip the hair at all. (I liked it so much, I used it myself later and loved the results.) I followed up with Aubrey Organics Island Natural Conditionerand left it on for about five minutes with a shower cap over it for a little extra conditioning. Once they were rinsed, I settled the girls in front of National Geographic Really Wild Animals: Deep Sea Dive and got down to some detangling.

Today, I was determined to either get the Kakakiki Komb (you may want to mute your computer speakers before clicking on this link) right or decide that it wasn't going to work at all. I will be writing a separate post about it soon so all I'm going to say now is that with the aid of hair milk, we did detangle.

With Little B's hair detangled, I divided her head into quarters and then divided each quarter into boxes of approximately equal size, clipping each box as I went. I then added styling cream to one box, worked it in and began to braid. I chose not to band the bottom of the braid to ease the stress on her hairline. Once I was done with one quarter full of boxes, I moved to the next and repeated the process. This actually took quite a long time, so when I was done I gave her a break and moved on to Little R.

It was a simple style week for Little R, so I detangled her hair and just parted her hair down the middle, added styling cream and used a natural bristle brush to gather it into two puffs. I secured them with rubber bands, and cloth bands and then put ballies over for good measure. It kind of strikes me as overkill now that I;m writing it down. What was I thinking? Oh, yeah, see * below. I then took the hair in one puff and combed it thoroughly. I smoothed it with pomade and put it into several small braids. I then did the other side. There was nothing particularly organized about the way I did it; I ended up with eight braids on one side and seven on the other. Although I banded the ends with rubber bands, I also added some pastel cloth bands just for a decorative element. I intended to add beads but the braids were just a little too large for my small beads and way too small for my big beads. It's a good thing I have such an understanding kid who was just as happy with the cloth bands. (Thanks Little R, you really helped Mommy out.)

Right in the middle of styling, our kitty decided that she would settle herself in among the hair tools and do her hair too. She's such a girly girl.

With Little R's hair done, I went back and added beads to Little B's hair. I love ending beads with a bead, so we chose colorful flowers with a white pony bead at the end. Little B loves her beads and I love them too. They make the best sound as she plays. So we ended up with thirty-nine braids*, two happy girls, one pleased mom and another hair day done.

*I blame today's poor counting skills on the nasty little cold and cough that had me up, wide awake and feeling mighty strange from 3:30 in the morning.